i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
