In the future we'll all be gay
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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