They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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