Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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