I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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