He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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