Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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