am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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