I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
