Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
