so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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