omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Holy shit dude........stairs
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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