3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
