you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
