Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
