i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
how drunk are you?
Several
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
