operation harelip BJ is a go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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