i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im six kinds of drunk right now
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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