Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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