I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
