Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
