): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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