Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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