he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
