I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
