Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
