Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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