Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
