You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
