if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
