so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
