I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
