WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
