I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
