u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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