Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
