I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
