my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
