There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
