Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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