Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
