i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
