i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
