i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
