You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
