You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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