big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
operation harelip BJ is a go
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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