Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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