I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
