ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
