Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
