is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
